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The Devil You Know

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Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
11:26 am - To David aka Charlotte et All
And we were just getting started. Somehow I feel much of this is my fault for not being as prominent as I should be. I really don't know how to solve this because my schooling is hectic, important and ultimately comes first. If I thought anyone else could do the job, I'd gladly give it over to them. Not because I don't love this game (we seem to have come together fabulously) but because I can't give it the attention it deserves.

You feel like you've let everyone down and so too do I. I don't think I can leave though because what would be left to this storyline that I've started?

Certainly, I am torn. If any of you have suggestions, I'd gladly take them or if you know anyone who wishes to continue this role, I'll hand it over.

I know that patience only goes so far and the majority of you must be losing it with me.

I've realized that my mid-terms are next week and my most complicated classes are killing any outside pleasures I once enjoyed. As Angelys has seen for herself, I have to go to great lengths just to put aside time to come here. When I do have a bit of down time, I spend it just catching up and I'm utterly exhausted. Too exhausted to nurture my creativity.

I suppose sometimes you have to kill your dreams for just a little while so that you can sleep and renew yourself again, yes?

This letter is not just to David but to everyone really. I need you to understand what I'm going through and I'm quite certain we've all been there at some point.

I'd like to say that I have all the answers, that I can save the day but I don't and can't do this easily (if at all). I'm still here to support which is horrible considering I'm supposed to be sort of leading. It's the best I can do, though.

I hope you all forgive me.

Remaining Faithfully,


current mood: drained
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Monday, September 13th, 2004
10:30 pm - Forgive me fellow RPers. I had to put this somewhere.
I stood in the midst of a crowd that I had no use for. They were friends but casual....acquaintances at best. All of them longing to be apart of something they weren't. Carbon copies have no more depth than paper. I was the diamond in the midst of so much ash.

My clove cigarette hung between my fingers and I contemplated the tendrils of smoke. Much more interesting than the idle chatter and the ample cleavage of adoring fans that seemed to strain upwards toward my vision with every breath. I came to the conclusion that my cigarette was as bored as I was.

My boredom quickly elevated into irritation. Not only did I wish I was elsewhere but my free hand sought a way to keep the stray strands of hair from my eyes. The combination was both a blessing and a curse. I could fell a victim within three feet of my shadowed stare. I had only to look up from beneath my brow.

Oh but I wasn't ready for you. My cigarette even took notice as it rose again to my lips. I had to inhale because I remembered that breathing was important, even if it meant dying a little. It seemed that the lingering smoke spread out around me. The crowd paled and the sound faded.

I remember you spoke. The question fell from your lips in ribbons of colour....blue when I'm so used crimson. Your eyes match your question, lost in the deepest ocean as they found mine. How did you know to look beneath my mask? This time I was snared and had no choice but to lift my head.

I could help you.....guide you....save you from drowning. Could I save myself? Did I even want to? The recognition flowed through your body. The casual uncertainty became an intense understanding. You can't see me outside so I stepped forward to bring you inside. The crowd, the clove, the entire club....they all become competition so I stamp them out with nary a sigh.

My arms wrap around you as all my charms awaken but this time it isn't for practice. I need to know every inch of you but I need you alone. Where shall I take you that I haven't been before?


The auburn hair was tempting....I wanted to run my long fingers through it's luxurious depths yet the fierce brown eyes that focused on mine burned a hole in my soul and forced me to hesitate. Touching him promised torture so I continually held myself in check, lest I experience even a fraction of his punishment again. His curse, however, was far heavier than any I could place upon my own head.

His entire being screamed for protection and comfort....to be wrapped up in royal-blue velvet and candlelight as I had seen in his past, yet I knew that no material comfort could save him now. The eternal victim of abuse.....the misuse over too many years had given birth to that cruel smile and the calculating gaze. Such a morbidly garish and decidedly jaded trait for someone who could have been an angel. His _expression caused me discomfort....enough to turn my gaze downward in the pretense of examining my nails. Even then I couldn't escape that feeling but I could better disguise it.

He considered every action from others filled with motives yet sometimes his own were inexplicable. His eyes would cloud over in confusion yet when all was done, he never reflected, never delved into the past. He'd deal out cruelty with a wrath ten times greater those who had tormented him....yet he had known the tenderness of love once. Adored above all....the perfect beginning for this Lucifer.

I bore him no love and he bore none in return. Our relationship fed itself more on mutual jealousies....whatever admiration we held for each other was buried so deep that I could not draw it upward to help him.

He had been crouched among the foliage...observing the various fauna and life amongst the lofty branches when he felt the sudden rush of warmth upon his neck. His body immediately responded....the hair upon his neck rising up as if to meet this new sensation.

He wasn't certain how the tiger had crept up upon him in his hiding place. The density of liter on the rainforest floor was thick and he, himself had snapped several branches, rustling various leaves in order to reach his destination. He had lain in wait for two hours or more in order to watch the forest settle once more from his intrusion.

He was keenly aware of his trespass now as his eyes shifted slowly. The tiger was more than a few feet from him but like any royal sovereign....the tiger's presence was felt by all in the jungle.

He had been rubbing the tops of his thighs at the strain from his crouch but now they traveled up slowly to grip the small pistol that hung at his hip. He was trapped in the thicket and he knew only one or the other would be leaving today....his heart was breaking.

The tiger stood regally above him....so far away and yet those piercing golden eyes stared into his very soul. His body was frozen but internally, he trembled at it's ferocity. He did not want to die, if he must, groveling on the ground like the lowest of creatures. His limbs protested with their stiffness as he silently ordered himself to stand but at last he came to his full height before the regal beast.

The tiger responded instantly but almost flippantly casual as it leapt down and padded toward him. As it ventured closer....he realized that the tiger was indeed a tigress. She was more petite than others he had seen from a safe distance but as she drew closer, her fine fur cloak dazzled him in the dappled light. It was a mixture of gleaming flame, snowcap white and in those stripes...the very depth of shadow.

His eyelids drooped in a seemingly sheer desire. In his mind, he reached out to his tigress as she met him amidst the leaves and his fingertips were finally able to sink deeply into the darkness and fire. He began to stroke her fur and a deep purr began to stir like a pagan drum beat within her very center. Her golden gaze met his slightly somber brown gaze and she blinked slowly....waiting for his response. In that moment, he told her with his eyes, how much he loved her. His trust mounting at the sheer sensuality of her nearness as his wariness foolishly began to slip away.

Her deep purrs of pleasure began to take hold as he moved to her side...his hands reverantly massaging the powerful muscles of her shoulders and caressing the flexible arch of her spine. She turned her head to gently nuzzle him.

The tigress rubbed against him in welcome and he began to pant softly, steadily. The desire to become one with this gorgeous creature was unbearable. She was the jungle and he wanted more than anything to be as wild as she. He allowed her to push him down again to the ground and as his eyes began to close, she covered him with her body....the warmth of her breath against his neck....so close now.

Her teeth skimmed the length of his stretched throat and in his mind, all he could hear was the sound of his own breath...panting.....faster....faster.....faster! He knew he was lost!


His eyes snapped open and the lack of sound pulled him roughly from his intimate dream....his tigress was close now, only several feet away. The pads of her paws made her silent death and the stare in those fathomless golden pools only held the cold love of a predator in need of easy prey.

She inched closer slowly....her entire being ready for the kill and he bit back a heart wrenching sob. He wanted to cry over her lack of pity. He wanted to scream to the heavens above because he knew she did not love him as he did. He wanted to weep with the knowledge of what was to be done and the tears in his eyes began to blur his vision.

She began a quick sprint and leapt into the air.

He raised his gun.....


When I fantasise.....it is in flashes. Cut up snippets of stolen moments, shuddered breaths and touching skin. There is one that seems to be stand out in my mind above all others....let me attempt to describe it.

Your hands grip my forearms tightly....if you lifted your fingers the bloodless marks would bleed into blush red marks. Your naked torso against my own unclothed body.....why is it that I am always most vulnerable here? My hands of course are pressed to wicked plains of your breast.....and no one is fooled by my weak attempts to force you away. After all, this is my fantasy isn't it? I have a deep affinity for dark hair.....and wisps of it brush against my own chest. I'm enjoying every millisecond of this brief moment so it comes as no surprise to feel your lips at my throat. Hot breath reacting with the moisture of your tongue....and the scrape of your teeth. Just before the moment fades you lean hard into my body and the contact with everything rips a cry from my soul.

It fades and I move on with my duties....the pleasure lingering in my body to keep me going. I also carry with me.....the knowledge that when I see you again we will further these pictures in my mind and perhaps make them a reality.

Until then....I will wrap my fantasies around me to keep me warm until you return.

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Thursday, August 12th, 2004
3:42 pm - For later. Just to save it.
A third immortal? My shielded gaze shifted upwards to the entrance, past David and Anita, as a petite blonde stepped away from the spinning glass doors. Uninvited but obviously she knew me. Then again, a lot of immortals knew me. I was now the most infamous vampire in fictional history.

Eat your heart out Dracula.

A smile curved my lips again despite the potentially dangerous situation. Did she have any idea how far my mistrust extended this evening? Bold children...why had everyone assumed that I'd gone soft?
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Saturday, August 7th, 2004
6:59 pm
Eleni, you are missing out on all the action petit! Come and join us!


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Monday, August 2nd, 2004
2:14 pm
I had walked the remaining distance to the Waldorf with Eleni in silence. I felt as fragile as a newborn but I decided sleep might help sort out my vast confusion. At the lobby desk I purchased an adjoining suite for the both of us under Oddbody and fairly collapsed just inside the lift as the doors slid shut.

I laughed again weakly, "We must make a pretty pair, n'est ce pas? No luggage and me an awful sight to behold. I think we frightened the lot of them...."

The last words I remember before all went black.

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Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
1:25 pm - Continuing on with Enkil......
"You even think in Egyptian, Enkil. I can't understand a bloody word."

The tone of my voice reflected my exhaustion....I was too overwhelmed and had seen too much to be surprised. The man who had almost broken me in my fledgling youth now stood before me and as much as I wanted to conjure old fears, they escaped me.

He was my enemy to be certain but at the moment, he looked as confused as I felt. How had he survived the vicious assault that Akasha had inflicted upon him? With my own eyes I saw him dead upon the floor, completely devoid of life! Should I even bother to question it since everything seemed possible in this moment?

I visibly shrugged before I drew myself up to my full height and realized that even as I did so, my flesh and muscle were visibly replenishing with Memnoch's witchery. I had the strength of God and the Devil behind me, my past before me and I thought now was as good a time as any to face it. I felt I could do anything.

"If you've come for revenge. I'm your man. Take it now, if you can. The dead deserve a second chance."

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Monday, July 19th, 2004
7:56 pm - Posted under 2004-07-19 17:03:00, vampire_king
The roar of my name seemed to echo off of every dusty pebble in the near vicinity and I forgot my struggle to the suface as my hands flew upwards to cover my delicate ears. Without my taloned grip, I reeled backwards and fell once again into my temporary tomb.....smashing two of the clay soldiers to bits beneath my dead weight. I lay there for a moment, the shock of the fall almost as devistating as when Armand had tossed me from the tower but my strength being tenfold now, I had broken nothing but history.

Eh, nothing ever really changes, does it?

I stared up at the night sky, partially obscured at times with curling wisps of falling dust, through the hole I had created to make my escape. How the hell had I managed to start from New York City and wind up here in China? And who was bloody well shouting my name?! Obviously someone knew I had returned and was awake but the voice wasn't really familiar to me.

Should I be worried that the primal scream did not sound friendly in the least? Should I be wondering what I've done now.....without my knowledge?

Maybe later.

I'd fought the very Devil and won! Well....mostly. Foul play, I was beginning to suspect. I sighed audibly since I realized that I should not call out again for Marius or Armand as I did not want them rescuing me or becoming injured in the process of doing so.

I curled my body slowly up into a sitting position....my bones and muscles still stiff from slumber. My strength was returning to me slowly. I had a suspicion that everything I had lost would be regained rather soon. I also had a feeling I was going to need every bit of it. I began my slow ascent towards the surface once again...hand over hand. I at last pulled myself up onto solid ground and carefully stood on unsteady legs. I scanned the darkened horizon in all directions but decided to wait. I was through running.

This was going to be one hell of an evening.

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Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
9:35 am - Hotel California
“Last thing I remember, I was runnin’ for the door.....I had to find the passage back to the place I was before....”

An individual isn’t meant to live through extreme starvation...the sheer pain is immeasurable by any mortal standards, considering they’d have all ready perished by this point....yet it was the first thing I recognized when consciousness finally found me. I knew at once I was mere pile of bones held together by a bag of flesh and as the wicked lash of insatiable hunger licked at what was left of my body, I hadn’t even the strength to cry out....let alone move to seek a remedy.

It was then that I felt the subtle warmth of a hand upon my skull and it seemed that the very nerve endings leapt toward it as a source of redemption. I could see nothing but I was vaguely aware that even if I managed to pry the lids apart, there would only be one eye to observe my surroundings. I was a bundle of immovable pain but the primal monster that lurked in the depths of my bones insisted I stir to take my first victim.

My arms flew upwards in an almost comical fashion, to manacle the wrist above that hand and drag it downward to the gaping maw of my jaws. The sharpness of my fangs were swift and sure as they tore at the delicate flesh to puncture the network of veins and tendons below. The first draught of blood flowed down over my shriveled tongue and drenched the esophagus, my voice box before splashing down into what was left of my stomach. I was a blind horse being led to water but I knew better than to question my guide.

On instinct I expected some sort of chemical reaction along with the renewal.....you see, all human beings contain chemicals either from the food they eat, the air they breathe or experiments from the past yet this blood was pure....too pure. The high from this virgin blood could almost be mistaken for a junkie on PCP but the results were all wrong and I felt better than ever. I was swooning yet perfectly stationary and my “victim” knew it...pulling away to my surprise, quite easily in order to give me time to absorb it all.

I was like a coma patient awakening for the first time in years....the last of my memories before the darkness rushing back in a torrent of chaos. The outraged cries and grasping hands of the souls in Sheol that sought to steal the veil from inside my clothing; the vow Memnoch made to me should I refuse my mandatory position; my precious eye being torn from it’s very socket by the Devil himself...and the horrific remorse that I glimpsed on his face just as I made my escape. Like the suction that follows an explosion....each particle of memory was pulled back and condensed into one awful truth that I managed to whisper aloud: “I must never die now, for I would be truly damned.”

“Quite correct, Lestat. Immortality seems a blessing now that you’ve glimpsed the curse that awaits you if you lose it.”

That voice would remain with me into eternity and it seemed I had difficulty remembering life before it.

“I didn’t escape, did I, Memnoch?”

"Yes and no but rest before we continue...."


(So this is how it starts....let me know what you think!)

current mood: groggy
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Monday, July 12th, 2004
8:38 pm
Something something something.....what an ingenious beginning!

More to come later....I'm going to work it out on my pathetic laptop this evening.

It's a bit......err.....dusty.


current mood: Industrious, Illustrious!
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